miiE veRsuS maHH LifE

2005-09-20T06:58:00.000-07:00

bad day

worst day ever.. nth can describe my fu*ked feeling now..

beginnig of the day was fine.. men was the moody de..

for mie.. it's jus boring lesson and freaking headache..

then kena caught by fong for shirt again.. fuk sia him!! FUK OFF!!

then went to expo.. then studied.. wad else.. got mel, sand, fishy

and nat.. studied phy.. and maths.. cant imagine taking exams

in 9 days.. urgh.. okae.. then i went home.. i didnt noe

worst things were happening.. my mom was giving my sis a chance

to live wid my biological dad.. the result is that

she lives wid my biological dad for the hols temporarily..

then later then she decide.. then i heard that.. everything

jus came out.. all the loneliness.. all the upset build up that

i hav tried so darn hard to put away.. all my regret and

fuking feelings.. URGH URGH URGH URGH URGH!! then i jus couldnt

stand it.. i jus cried out.. i feel so alone.. sis going to be gone

then somemore.. he's out ther.. and i see smth coming up for him..

can u blame me for feeling je.aL.OUS? but it's all my taiji..

concerns no one.. all my FUK feelings.. jus exploding out..

then that darn MTV keep playing sad songs.. lik LONELY NO MORE..

LONELY BY AKON.. and BAD DAY by DANIEL POWTER.. wad could be worse..

y is this happening.. can smone pls tell me.. can smth tell me

that everything's gonna be right and fine?? lik it used to..

it's so cold in the rain and all that's visible is my tears..

waitiN..

can i keep waiting by believing

gu dan yue jiu.. xing fu yue zhi de deng dai marh??

i jus slipping away..

2005-09-19T07:01:00.000-07:00

glam me

i finding a reason to convince myself im glam.. haha..

apparently all in vain.. u tink lahx.. is studying at darn expo

glam? is lik going crazi over one darn tupid amaths qn glam?

now guess wad.. im the tortoise.. how ironic.. the title

still is owned by karmen.. i borrowed it jus cux of my big billabongy

bag.. todae is jus another day.. wad else.. lik 11 more days to the

first end of yr paper.. life sucks le still lai dat.. blarhx..

most sians lesson was the emaths(as usual).. dun undastand the trigo,

the kinematics, the frequency density.. blah blah blah yada yada..

tok bout cutting hair.. mine's long.. but unlike some rich kids..

me go barber.. haha.. cut botah.. todae is a crippled prawn day..

everyone telling me crippled prawn jokes.. & zeyou.. bahx.. is not

papa kk.. haiyo so obiang one.. lol.. okae.. tok bout stress..

emphasized by our choky aka siaky aka helmet head.. lol.. me so

tired.. haix.. goodness.. gayness is spreading frm hy to miie!!

no!! aids!! argh.. cant for end yr.. can get job and earn money..

okae.. andrew.. im counting on u.. lol.. anyone can tell me which books

of dan brown worth buying?? angels and demons? da vinci code? deception

point?? digital fortress?? or night mare b4 christmas? i onli can buy two

lol..blah blah.. okae.. S.QUADers on ur mark.. get set.. chiong

for eoy!! gd luck kk.. frm zeyou too.. haha.. i shld get out le..

me go back study.. mwahaha..

waiting still.. for the day of acceptance..

i'll alwaes be here..

2005-09-10T01:16:00.000-07:00

bOrIn wAlk doWn orChaRd wiD siS..

i swEaR.. i'll nvR gO ouT wiD mY siS to oRcHaRd aGain..

wE weNt heErEn fiRst & weNt wAllEt ShoP tO cheCk oUT wAllEts..

tHEn wEnt tO tAke nEopRiNts.. oN ouR wAy wAs theSe tWo guRls hu

toTaLLi inSulTeD piNk & fAshIon bY weAriN thE eXacT sAme piNk suiT..

tAlK bOut yUck.. fAshIon PolIce.. aRREst thEm.. LoL.. wEnt tO oOgLe At

mY reCenT dAhlIng.. thE smAll whiTe bAg At 77th StreeT.. roCks mAn..

tHEn wAs neOpRiNTs.. sO spAs.. bUT quIte niCe laHx..

nExt wE wAlkEd tO nGeE aNN ciTy.. hoPiN tO fiNd tHE oRchArd lIb..

aPPaReNtLY.. Im a diReCtIon iDioT w/oUt hIm.. LoL.. fiNd

sO LOng tHen fInAlli fouNd it.. uLu wAds.. hAhA.. weNt thEr

& shOWeD hEr thE woNdeRfuL coMicS.. saT thEr & reAd tiLL lIk

fouR thiRty & decided to go off.. she was so reluctant..

thEn i went to check out the top shop to see anything that

catches my eye.. & pResto.. I feLL in luv wid a golden bag..

amazingly small & cute.. im so notty & unfaithful.. lol..

but lik fifty bucks.. tym to save i told myself..

my sis was so uninterested.. fine.. i noe im materialistic & all..

well dun blame a gurL.. lOl.. iM goNNa spluRge oN bAgS..

woohOO.. wE went hm in the packed mrt.. wid difficulty in breathing..

buT all and all.. it was fun.. but i haven been dreaming of him..

since the two nites.. but im happie.. cux he is my korx.. once

again.. according to shi long.. that's gd to hear.. haha..

gd start??? theN shI lOnG inspired me to tink up of smth..

i wrote on my msn nick.. hold on.. i go cut and paste..

"dreamin of him is a wish, seein him is a dream..

him acceptin me is a miracle.. oNe that onli he can create & destroy.."

philosophical?? cool rite.. thks alot shi long.. & yepx.. glad i

found a fren lik u.. share my troubles & we're kinda in th same

boat rite.. gd luck for ur bonus kk.. well.. a word of advice..

dun hope that she is happy.. be the one to MAKE her happy.. hehe..

waiTiN stiLL & wiLL alWaEs..

.denise.

2005-09-08T08:40:00.000-07:00

i hOpE drEaMs dO cOMe trUe..

okAe.. kinDa krEep ouT buT i liTerAlly smiLed iN mY slEeP..

dreAmt oF hiM foR tWo coNsecutiVe nites.. shall not say the contents..

but it was all but him.. him.. him.. haha... some parts contain ppl

frm NAS & also FPS.. hAha.. weirD ehs.. buT i wAs sO rEluCtaNT to wAke

up.. weD woKe uP at 11am.. toDae wokE uP at 1pM.. hAhA.. so l8 hoRx..

im GoiN foR swiMmiN teSt tmL.. bRonZe.. wiSh mE luCk.. hOpE i duN scReW

up.. gOiN tO tAkE my siLvEr neXt mTh.. lOl.. miSS hiM lIk trUckLoaDs..

wAn tO sEe hiM agAin.. & sAnd iM noT hiS fAn.. i LUV HIM.. hAhA..

hAhA.. nO uSe sAyiN tHat noW lE.. hE doEsnT wAn tO tuRn hiS bAck

& aCcEpt mE lE.. hAi.. aLL i cAn do noW iS wAit & pRaY..

wAiTiN stiLL..

rotTiN.. lOl..

2005-08-31T09:25:00.000-07:00

SENIORS~! wE mished u all so much..!

today is the day we get to noe wad the hell is the new thing dat

is new and never been done in any skools.. to tell u the truth..

i think the poster to announce that thing was hilarious..

wid Patrick Hon Tuck Loy's photo on it.. *no offense Loy..*

the new thing is the nGEE ann's values card.. the onli thing

so nice bout it is: u get discount frm 37 shops.. cool rite..

i got mine signed le.. hehe.. then was the teacher's day celebrations!!

Ms Toh got the best form teacher of sec 3 award!! WOOHOO!! & mrs

pong got Teacher of the Yr.. so cool rite.. chuan they all mus be elated..

then was the performance.. the emcees were super lame man..!! lol..

but i guess the pink shirt malay girls and the malay boys were the best!!

mAhh fave part.. meeting the seniors!! RAWKX man.. miss them so much..

lik fac.. chuan.. ming.. zhi ming.. chee huat.. loy.. via.. chris.. JO..

peiwen mummy.. matthew.. cze kin.. plus mani mani more.. hehe.. some changed..

lik ethel..pretty sia.. then after dismissal.. we took lots of pics..

later i went out 2gether wid fac, loy, zhi ming, chuan, men , ming & fishy..

at first they wanted to play pool.. then bowling.. then decided to watch

movie.. but no timings.. then we walked ard.. quite boring.. but at least

we chatted alot.. AND AND AND!! he wore the shirt i bought him.. and he

carried the wallet still.. plus.. i finalli gav him the beaar.. & he

liked it.. said it was kewtx.. heng ah.. my efforts paid off.. but it

seroiusly looks lik a gorilla.. sry ah.. lol.. so HappiE.. and after a long

talk wid men and comforting frm faccy.. i feel so much better.. at

least im happie when i tink of our memories & not space out & be sad..

i've made my decision to wait for him althou i noe he sure will

be attached by next yr le.. sadX.. but he's worth it.. and he

seriously doesnt noe that he's a girl magnet.. at least mani tinks he quite

shuai.. haha.. that includes me?? haha.. anyway.. late le..

*elated and willing to wait..*

+cant wait for 6 sept+ =)

2005-08-10T06:05:00.000-07:00

_sRy bOut thE pRevIOuS vUlgAr poSt_

hMM.. oKae.. Lets see.. todae me and men suppose to meet

at 10 am to study le then go pasir ris park.. in the end

both of us onli reach at 11 plus.. i reached first and studied

my chinese & was hoping he drop by.. well.. oh never mind..

anyway.. didnt noe will be reminscing bout him so much todae..

we tok bus 403 then waited so long then came.. then also saw lydia

.. she going the SC bbq or smth.. lol.. she look so chio.. hee..

den i pulled men to go see the swing ther wher i wrote the "wo

guo hao da bian zhou mo shou cheng gui an yu xian zhuang.." lol..

rmb dat tym.. so hilarious.. haix.. i mish him.. also saw the

words he wrote the other tym.. wished it still applies now.. i went to

the helicopter ther.. haix.. searching for the un-noticible words..

then FOUND!! "ming he yun dao ci yi you".. lol.. then the one on the

kena drawn over by sm idiot hu drew a cat over it.. URGH!! then men

wanted to rent bike but i was reluctant.. lol.. lazi marhx.. sry..

then i sat alone lik idiot and started drawing smth.. bout promise de..

then went to buy lo mai kai.. lol then went to spider web and braved

storms n finalli reached the top and saw the one that monkey climbed

up so quickly and wrote.. then wrote smth else.. then came down le den

decided to return to white sands & slack.. hmm.. i swear if i spent

more tym wid karmen.. i going to turn into a hormosexual.. *gasp*

LOL.. no lahx.. and KARMEN.. i will be able to keep my liking till

afta o levels de.. if i break this promise.. i giv u my life..

can kill me.. lol.. iM CERTAIN THIS TYM ROUND.. okae then lik i went hm

& well now im reminscing wid him now.. wished to be able to experience

the times we went to pasir ris park again.. nvr mind.. hmm.. i going

to make my IC and go pasir ris park on sat(13th).. lol.. gotta go study

for ss test le.. sianx..

the sian-er

2005-08-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

_I juS wAntEd tO hAv a gLimPsE oF hiM~!!_

BLOODY HELL.. I DIDN'T SEE HIM!! I RUSHED THER THEN LIK HE IS

GONE!! ARGH!! MAN.. I MISH HIM SO MUCH STILL.. EYES LIK SO PAIN..

SRY GUYS FOR THE BIG CRYING THANG.. BUT I JUS WANTED TO SEE

HIM FOR A SECOND WOULD BE ENOUGH.. BUT NO.. WTF!! THAT MOMENT

THAT SAND TOLD ME THAT HE WAS AT THE LIBRARY.. I WAS SO LONGING

TO SEE HIM.. THE STRONG FEELING OF WANTIN TO C HIM..EVERYTHING WAS A

BLUR.. CHIONG DOWN FRM YOSHINOYA.. GOT THERE BUT HE LEFT LE..

Y!! Y DIDNT I RUN FASTER!! UGH!! Y DID I STONE FOR SEC DEN

RAN?? I WOULD HAV GOTTEN A GLIMPSE OF HIM.. IM STILL SO UPSET

BOUT IT.. SO HUNGRY AND EYES SO PAIN!!

guRl hu's oNli wiSh iS tO c Him agAin..

evEn wId tHe exChanGe of hEr lIfe

2005-08-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

><

okaee.. lets see.. a so-so day in skool.. mel's back! lol

then had the tupid hist test.. fail le.. out of pt..

ARGH!! never mind.. the highlite of the DAE.. F.O.P!!

hmm.. afta the test went to sand's hse to bathe and charged out

of the hse.. went to kallang den ther was lik tons of ppl..

had the shock of mah life.. lol.. den took taxi wid sand to

indoor stadium.. found alvin & had to sit in the sun for lik 2 hrs

plus cux hav to queue up and all that.. okaee.. i'll stop the

procedure crap & tell u the concert details.. hmm.. ther's lik

HILLSONG AND DELIRIOUS!! so kOOL lohx.. den saw ppl

lik charlene.. janet.. the NDP's weide.. hmm.. qianhua.. laura.. daryl..

lock bin.. sam lee.. sherry lee.. phylisia.. heng jo.. chee huat(tupid

de.. scare me 2 death!).. yish.. amanda.. jon lim.. AHAHA!! chuan

cant go!! so i take opportunity suan him.. mwahaha.. & those haven

go.. GO!! sat or sun got.. at 7:30pm!! it totalli rocks!! LUV gOD yA!

ONE WAY!! JESUS!! URE THE ONLI ONE I COULD LIVE FOR! mwahaha.. CAN

U FEEL THE MOUNTAINS TREMBLE.. TELL THE WORLD THAT JESUS LIVES!! lol..

seeing everyone crying ard me.. tears jus flowed down my eyes.. hmm..

as hillsong and delirious played the loud drum songs matched my heart

beats.. I JUS LOVE THE SING WORSHIP SONGS!! haha.. but it's amazing

to see soOoO mani ppl coming todae and praying together.. to sing

together.. LUV GOD TOGETHER!! i was so darn happy.. grinning lik siao..

so happy singing.. so i told myself.. i hav god.. IM NOT LONELY!! but

now reach hm le.. den still.. haix.. sadX.. tml and sun gonna hav

a blast!! haha.. i guess i still miss him bahx.. den lik.. nvm..

sand ah.. wake up and listen to us!! that fellow's not worth it..

he's gonna hurt u & i dowan u to become sadX.. got so mani other

guys!! haix.. i advising other ppl when iM so messed up myself.. sianx..

i stop here bahx..

8 days left.. hav to decide.. hmm.. giv or not??

*lOnElY*

2005-08-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

hMM.. attended sand's church service 4 the second time..

wiTh zeus!! weird horx.. i was a little bity late lik usual..

buT i have admit that was lik the bestest service i ever

attended.. so interesting.. had ppl frm U.S to come n give

testimonials on their experience with god.. so NICE!!

got BRYAN(18)!!SAMUEL(17)!! MOSES(16)!! & ANDREA(18)!! so kooL lohs..

their accents lik so darn nice.. *dreams* i wan too!!

had sand and sophia as lead singers.. ray and tony as

backup.. zijian on drums.. samantha on guitar..

and melissa on keyboard.. not bad worx!!!!! they

played: Open the Eyes of my Heart, I could sing of ur luv 4eva

& smth i cant rmb.. then got the U.S ppl.. they played too!!

bryan on drums.. moses on bass and andrea on keyboard.. samuel

on guitar and lead.. haha.. samuel and bryan are lik sO shuai lohx..

moses is cute & andrea is chio man! lik sam WAS a bad boi.. took

drugs, smoke & drink at age of 12.. *gasps* kOOL lohx.. but

he got checked by FBI lik twice & then he went to boarding skool..

then was so alone & was trying to get away frm there.. then he

went to a service & read the bible.. then found GOD!! then he read us

this story thing.. :

Footprints

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:

one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,

he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life

there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the

very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

"Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You,

You'd walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that during the most troublesome

times in my life, there is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why when I needed You most

You would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My son, My precious child,

I love you and would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints,

it was then that I carried you."

so kool rite.. haha.. then bryan came to tok to us.. his dad got affair

de.. then lik hs mom.. dowan divorce the dad cux luv him too much le..

then he had to tackle his dad when dad going to beat mom.. then

he kena choked by dad.. so sadX.. haix.. he is lik so nice person..

so shuai somemore.. multi-talented worx.. lik SAMUEL!! *screams* then

went to lib wid sand and ahem.. haha.. then i went out wib dad..

then bought MY DARLING BILLABONG BAG!! so nice.. but green..

karmen say i anti-green de.. lols.. then lik had dinner at genki

sushi.. lol.. so nice DAY!! mwahaha.. i feel so inspired!! so happie..

got rid of all my unhappiness..!! cux i've thE LORD ALMIGHTY!! hehe..

guRL hu's iN luB wiD dA loRd..

2005-07-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

oNLi hOpE..

todae's ndp AGAIN.. well wad else..

todae de ish for our family members.. my sis & mom went..

sianx.. tml will be another tiring dae.. hav lots of hmwk to

finish.. morning going sand's church and after dat got

tuition.. hmm.. i figured one thing.. I SCREWED uP.. biG tyM..

he wont be ther for me le.. need to shake myself awake.. it's

impossible liao.. me, mel and karmen.. made a pact.. going

to stick each other & be depressed 2gether.. B.I.M.bos.. we

will support one other rite!! haha.. dun be sadX le horx..

yepx.. todae.. i totalli messed up during the stand

s,pore medley.. then lik sand was going gaga over..

aDRAIN.. haha.. Fishy spelling error.. well.. at least

he's not lik totalli cold towards me.. THANK GOD!!

*STOP IT BIM!! CHANGE SUBJ!* hmm.. going to find tym

to watch my !! NDP.. wet.. muddy.. smelly..

fireworks were fabulousS.. AND IM GOING TO BE A PILOT!!

smoNe will get his old saggy lohan, garner and alba wid

lots of botox.. tym to face consequences for my actions..

& GARY.. I SWEAR.. if he ever calls me xiao yun jie jie

again, i will bust his head off.. mwahaha.. was damn high when

after the show.. some moltivators started dancin & taking off

their top.. hmm.. nth to see thou.. then i was lik screaming

mah head off.. now got sore throat.. *PAIN* then was dancing samba

wid mel and men.. so tired now.. on the bus i singing screwed up

version of tong hua.. & ate lik instant noodles frm 7-11 & gu NI!!

then me and men so depressed then started to sing &

.. behind this hazel eyes lik totally

rox!! +I HAPPILY ANNOUNCE DAT I FINISHED MY TEDDY'S HEAD AND BOD!!

wooHoo.. okae.. BIM.. tym to face the music.. he not coming back

le.. FACE IT.. going to 4get him and not pulling him back..

LALALA~! INCOMPLETE~!

...out,

cursed guRL...

nDp!!

2005-07-17T06:07:00.000-07:00

aNoTheR tIrIn dAe oF nDp!!

hMM.. todAe.. wAs kinDa sPecIaL.. wE haD tO

rEaCh sKoOl lIk aT niNe foRtY.. sAdX.. i sLePt

sO lATe tHe pRevIouS niTe.. Zzz.. yaWnx..

tHeN wELL the sLoW pANdA cHiPs cLuB goT so cArRieD

aWaY bY dOiN ouR maKe-uP & haD tHe eNtiRe ndP cHoIr

meMbErs iN ouR sKoOl dE wAiTinG foR uS.. sRy gUYs..

dEn mR laI aLmoSt blEw hiS tOP.. haIx.. wE wEnt thErE &

hAd kFc 4 boTh lunCh & dInNeR.. nOooOO.. i wAn piZZA!!

dEn wE hAd ouR mAke-uP dOne by sUm pRo coSmeTic cOm ppL..

mY eYesHadoW wAs lIk gREeN.. yuK!! fiShy wAs pUrPlE.. mEl waS

oRanGe.. sanD waS eH liGht purpLisH i tiNk.. mEn waS lIk pInkiSh..

tHe sHow wAs foR tHe pRi 5s & i madE a miStAkE duRiN lEt's

gEt iT stArtEd.. aRgH.. sMoNe fiLmIn sm-mOre.. @_@

dEn wEn thE caNnOn wAs firiN aWay.. E kiDs wAs liK aS iF kEna shOt

dEn prEteNd tO fALL oN thE chAiRs.. sO fArNY.. =) meN wAs lIk lOoKin

aT oNe oF tHe lOOkaLikEs fRm boYs brIgaDe.. hMM.. loLs..

dEn 1 oF E aRmY gUys aka tAn aH goU aka tan bo liao.. kEeP

cAlLiN me hOe.. mS hoE.. i noE iT soUndS liK hOle laHx.. hmPh..

tHe fiRewOrKs waS lIk WAH!! bUt i wAs kiNdA busY trYiN tO c

tAufIk n rUi eN.. sAdX.. rUi eN goT escoRt cAnt geT auTogRapH..

aS uSuAl aFtEr thE pRaC.. thE ngeEaNN-iAns wErE hiGh!!

dId ouR "oiE" cHEeR.. i wAs busI hiTiN zEuS's heAd..

& pLs.. im noT misChiEvoUs.. juS E adRenaLinE.. sO

paRdOn mE.. afTEr thaT fiShy slaMmEd mE aGaInsT thE windOW of

buS oNce agAin.. *goT pIMplE lE..fiShy uR fAulT!!* >.<

wEnT baC lE dEn heAdaChE.. dARn.. dEn wE wEnt paSaR mAlAm..

LIk 3 stAllS leFt onI.. afTeR tHAt wEnT hM & diD maHH blOg!!

fiNaLLi fiNisHEd aT 3aM.. siS plAyeD maPlE tiLL

6aM.. *sHocK* sHe lVl 15.. cHEaTeR bUg!! hMph..

weLL.. stILL tInkIn bouT hIm.. tiNkiN bouT tHe iMpoSSibLe..

nvR miNd.. yaWns.. niTex..

sigNeD.. cuRsEd..

miiE veRsuS maHH liFe

2005-07-16T11:37:00.000-07:00

cuRsED.. _maHH liFe_

"i'll nvR maKE mY oWn dEcIsIoNs anymoRe.."

"i'vE maDe mY miStAkE" _uNtItLeD_

"i'll dO aNytHiN juS 2 hOLd u iN mY aRms" _i'll dO aNyThiN_

"hERe i aM, oNce aGaIn.. iM tOrN iNtO pIeCeS.." _bEhInD tHiS hAzEl eYeS_

"i leArNt tO aPPrEcIaTe n lUv hIm bY losIn hIm tWicE.. noW he's nO lOngEr miNe..
bUT i jUs wAn tO tELL hIm.. sAraNhAeyO.."

sO wad'S uR pRoB?

nvR seEn a gUrL meSsIn uP hEr oWn liFe??

u tInK iT's fArnY..

tEll u smTh.. i dUn cAre..!!

hEy u..!

wAn sAy sMtH boUt miiE??

duN tELL mE cUx i doWaN 2 noE..

u tiNk u noE miiE??

tiNk agAin..

cUx i duN eVEn noE mAhhsElf..

thAt diStoRtEd pErSon i c iN thE miRRoR..

dUn cAre boUT miiE..

cUx i dUn eVEn cArE anY fuKiN thIng bouT

maHHsELf.. tHaT maHH pReRogAtiVe..

noW dUn gEt miiE wRonG..

iT noT a veRbaL bATTlE aGaInsT aNyonE..

buT a sOUl baTTlE btW miiE & mAHH liFe..

sO sTaY ouT oF iT..

cUx iT gOnnA bE blOOdy..

siGneD.. cuRsEd guRL..